A Father's Dilemma: Seeking Wisdom and Love

As I drive to work sipping my coffee, I feel the weight of the day. I feel the weight of how my actions and decisions will impact my wife and children. I Know that God has called me to lead my family in love and wisdom, but sometimes it feels like such a daunting task. How do I live a life that upholds the expectations of a biblical husband and father?


As husbands, we have a specific role in leading our families. Ephesians 5:23 says, " For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior." This means that a husband's leadership should be self-sacrificial and Christ-like, just as Jesus sacrificially gave himself for the church.

Richard Baxter said, "A husband is to his family what a pastor is to his flock, or a prince to his subjects, or a head to his body." Baxter's analogy reminds us that a husband's leadership should be caring, protective, and nourishing, as he leads and guides his family towards righteousness and holiness.

However, this does not mean that a husband's leadership should be authoritarian or tyrannical. 1 Peter 3:7 says, "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." A husband's leadership should be marked by understanding. They should seek to show respect and honor towards their wives, as they partner together in both marriage and the kingdom of God.

John Calvin wrote, "The husband is the head of the wife, but it is not a lordship of power, but a lordship of love and of concern." This means that a husband's leadership should be characterized by love and concern for his wife and family, rather than a desire for power and control.

My daily commute to work is almost always one of contemplation about my life and family. As I reflect on the expectations above, I pray for wisdom and grace to lead with love and self-sacrifice, just as Christ loved and gave himself for his church. Men, Husbands, Fathers, and Husbands and Fathers yet to be, strive to be biblical leaders in your families, following the example of Christ and leading with love, wisdom, and concern.


Article written by BJ Eason.


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